RLC #1: Prologue

Ugh! Why does this always happen to me? Here I am, driving home from yet another horrible date with a complete asshole. He talked with food in his mouth all night, kept belching as if we were at a frat party, only spoke about when we were going to “hook up,” and—to top off the audacity—asked to go dutch on the bill. And he wasn’t even my type! He was about two inches shorter than me, not even eye level. His hair looked like it was best friends with the ceiling with the numerous amount of turds coming out of his scalp. Literally the walking bootleg version of Kid from House Party and Paul Wall from Nelly’s “Grillz” video combined; just a wannabe 90s/2000s mash-up lookin’ ass. I only gave him a shot because his approach was actually nice and sweet for once. He asked for my name before asking for my phone number, so I thought, why not? Give him a chance.

I should have known better. Listen to your intuition, ladies!

What do I look like? Am I some woman off the street? No! Is the problem actually me? Sometimes, I feel like I ask for too much in a partner. But is basic respect really asking for too much? Where are the men who aren’t afraid to be chivalrous? You know the type. The ones who will open doors for you, protect you, respect you, comfort you, share their dreams and aspirations with you. The men who ache in their desire for you to the brink of tears, as if only your touch can quench their thirst. The men who actually love.

Gripping the steering wheel on this miserable drive home, with the city lights blurring past, my brain is screaming that all guys are complete nincompoops. But beneath the anger, there's a little bit of shame, too. How did I end up here?

To cope, I start tracing back the steps of my love life, contemplating all the loves and almost-loves I’ve had before as the city zooms past me through the windows in silence. From my incredibly shy days in grade school, to my embarrassing denial of my high school sweetheart, to the beautifully messy, failed romantic attempts of my adult life.

Why haven’t I been able to get it right? Where is my forever love God promised me?

So you know we're gonna have to grab our scissors to rewind the tape, blow out the dust, and pop it back into our VHS of love. Let's see what the tape reveals...