I Choose Me in 1776

Dearest Father,

These years after Mother’s passing has been the loneliest years that we both have ever endured. We both are unhappy. Unsatisfied. Depression sucked our bodies dry and we now are nothing more than raisins of our flesh lying face down in a pit of darkness. For the longest time, I have wondered how we were to escape this darkness that held us captive. With the little strength that remains, you must work extra hard to replenish your body back to health. It is only yourself that can save you. I must say, I have been rescued and carried into the light by a wonderful man named, Frank. My mind, my body, and my spirit have been rejuvenated and happiness has risen within. It pains me to have to unveil this information through a letter. Oh, how I wish I had the courage to approach you. To become face with you. For our emotions to reveal truth to one another. Fear of you is a tumor eating away at my heart. Your reaction would have been unbearable and it was likely that I would have died from the heartache of not living my life to its fullest potential of joy. I have kept Mother’s promise and I cared for my brothers and for you, Father, for as long as I was able. A new life awaits me.

Caring for both Harry and Ernest, may God bless their souls, you and I have been an accomplishment that I deem to be proud of. Although I am proud, it was highly tiring and stressful. After Ernest’s death and Harry continuing his life of a wife, children, and a career, you have grown bitter and unreasonable with each passing day. You're lashing out at me from rage, which I took no part in on bestowing upon you, has caused me to struggle with such internal complexities. I have become weak in all aspects; physically, mentally, and emotionally. There was no course within my being that allowed me to drive my personal desires and ambitions to the finish line of happiness. I can tell you with certainty that my self-automobile has been fixed. Keys are in the ignition and I am ready to race to the finish line to retrieve my prize.

Frank is my prize! He awaits me. What a man he is. He is my knight in shining armor. When he offered to take care of me for the rest of our lives, I did not know how to react. I was so overwhelmed by the beauty of how incredibly wonderful life will be. We will have a love that is as durable as hemp. The children that God will bless us with will carry on his legacy of greatness and power. I will be the woman behind him. I will never slouch, whine, disrespect, nor forget my place as his wife. Those will be the displays of my affection and gratitude to him and my family to be. We set sail for Buenos Ayres, Argentina soon. Though I will be leaving you to start a new life of my own, I will never forget you.

Father, you have not always been the kindest of persons to me, but I forgive you. I know how difficult it was for you to lose Mother. For you to feel as if you had no woman to care for you and help you live your life. I did try my very best to take her place, but I have come to realize that I am not her. My purpose in life is not to take care of you, but to be someone else’s wife and mother. Do I not deserve that pleasure of my very own? Leaving is difficult because I am accustomed to caring for the family that has brought me into this world, with the Lord’s help. You were once young and had your heart set on a wife with beauty and elegance to share your life with. Please, I ask that you not be angry with me, but to understand that I, too, want that same pleasure in a husband. I have crossed that finish line and have won my prize.

Your Loving Daughter,

Amelia